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GB News ‘devastated’ by the death of their only viewer

Updated: Jan 9, 2022

The GB News presenters and crew were said to be shocked and saddened by the news that their only viewer passed away yesterday. They were even more shocked and saddened to hear the news first from the BBC.

Tom Thirkettle, 75, had watched the channel since it first aired. His daughter June described him as a one-off and said although he would be greatly missed there was consolation in knowing he died doing what he loved best, shouting in agreement at another Dan Wootton monologue.

For GB News, Tom’s passing means a temporary hiatus in the scheduling. A spokesperson told us, “Having just the one viewer did have advantages in that presenters could take time off if we knew Tom was not in front of the TV. Like that time he was unwell and had to recuperate upstairs. But now we need to find a replacement and quickly. Perhaps we’ll advertise in the Guardian.”

When asked if it was worth the effort, they said they took a dim view of any suggestion that they should call time on the station. Although with their lighting setup they admitted they took a dim view of most subjects.

However, GB News did at least get a chance to pay a very quick tribute to Tom this morning when a viewer from Essex tuned in for a couple of minutes during the Great British Breakfast, before hastily departing again, presumably looking for an adult channel.

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