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Government to stockpile headless chickens for next crisis



Following criticism of the government's handling of the COVID pandemic, the civil service has building up reserves of headless chickens.


A spokesman explained; "As most of the government had caught COVID from an unknown blonde, idiot conman, there was a severe shortage of chinless wonders to run around in circles in the early stages of the pandemic. So we're ready for next time, a thinktank headed up by Chris Grayling, recommended spending £26 million on headless chickens from his mate Toby."


Mr Grayling also commented on the scheme; "Toby, great bloke by the way, called me from his Barbados home to guarantee that the chickens would cost nothing to keep as he pointed out that without their heads, they won't have any beaks to eat with. Very clever."


In unrelated news, the government has recently invited tenders for deep cleaning and odour removal services.


image from pixabay



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