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Heavyweight boxer self-identifies as lightweight

Heavyweight boxer Steve McAdams, currently ranked No 247 in the world, announced today that he “self-identifies as a lightweight” and will compete in that division from now on.

It’s thought he may have been inspired by the story of Lia (formerly Liam) Thomas, who went overnight from being a mediocre male swimmer to a female one who won every race by a huge margin.

]I just feel that lightweight expresses who I am deep down inside,” explained McAdams, adding that it definitely wasn’t a cheap ploy to give himself an unfair advantage.'

However, the move has attracted criticism from some in the sport.

'It’s ridiculous, said genuine lightweight boxer Mike Scanlan. 'The guy’s about twice the size of me. How can he possibly fight as a lightweight - are we supposed to just ignore what the scales say?” However, his comments were dismissed as “sizephobic” by some overgrown student activist the editor of the Guardian has on speed dial.'

In other news, racehorse owner Sir Timothy Benson announced that one of his less successful horses “self identifies as human” and will race against humans from now on.

'Though obviously it’ll have to be on grass, not concrete, since it’s really a horse.'

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