A burglar in Hull has admitted that he broke the law when robbing a local household, and now thinks that he can sail away with it if he offers his victims a small fraction of the loot back, it has emerged.
"I hold my hands up" said Peter Pebbledash, when police pointed a gun at him, "I chose not to consult the householders beforehand, as there is no way they would have agreed to me entering their home, ripping their TV off the wall, and making off with it plus sundry items of jewellery and the kids' Playstations. What else could I have done?"
"But in recognition of the fact that my actions were undoubtedly illegal, I am happy to comply fully with the legal penalties for my actions, by which I mean give them the £50 I got their DVD collection."
Mr Pebbledash, who police suspect is also responsible for similar offences in Southampton and Liverpool, was then heard protesting loudly and making waves. "My citizenship is registered in Bermuda, you can't arrest me in the UK" as he was led off to cells pending formal charging.