Everton have launched a staunch defence of their 10-point deduction in the Premier League by asking that if they are supposed to have gained an unfair advantage why are they still so shite? ‘It’s a disgrace’ says Everton director Fenton Barnes. ‘Anyone who has had to watch the crap served up on the pitch for the last few years will know that we don’t have any advantage over other teams, unfair or otherwise’. ‘I mean we signed Dele Alli for Christ’s sake, does that sound like a team that’s trying to gain an unfair advantage? And what about Man City? How do they get away with it? If we’re breaking the rules you’d think we might be challenging in Europe like them not hoofing it into the box in the 98th minute trying to get an equaliser at home to Fulham’ Everton are set to appeal the points deduction and will claim that their financial dealings were governed by events beyond their control. 'There are numerous mitigating factors’ says Barnes. ‘Like Covid, the war in Ukraine, the war in Gaza, Brexit, Storm Babet and the death of the Queen’.
‘The good news is that even with the 10-point deduction we’ll probably avoid relegation because the 3 teams that came up this year are even more shite than us’. Everton fans can rest assured that next year we’ll be back where a great club like ours belong - in the bottom lower half of the league 15 points behind Wolves?'