Palace officials have admitted that lighting Jubilee beacons across the country has been misinterpreted by the horse people of Rohan as a cry for help and 5000 heavily armed Rohirrim - horse riding warriors - have arrived to drive away hordes of Orcs from the dark kingdom of Mordor. Instead, they ended up dispersing a crowd of pensioners from Bangor and clashing with law enforcement officers.
Acting Met chief, Paul Stephenson, played down the event. "It's simply a slightly high spirited reaction to the beacons. Anyone seen my head anywhere?"