LA cop sues Australian reporter for shooting her in the leg
- Steveb
- Jul 2
- 1 min read
A Los Angeles police officer who has exercised his right to remain anonymous so that he may continue his duty of shooting innocent people is suing news reporter Lauren Tomasi for $200 million in damages.
Referred to as Officer X in the courtroom, and wearing a hood with badly cut eye holes to mask his identity, the officer spoke via an out of work actor to disguise his voice. 'In one moment, I did more for that dame's career than she had in years. I made her world famous, and what thanks do I get?
'I could see that her report was going nowhere, so I deliberately raised my gun and shot her with non-lethal accuracy. The footage of her report went viral. Like global viral. Channel 9 News Australia should be praising me for the heroic work I did on her behalf.
'But their reaction was the opposite. I just don't get it. The trauma it has caused me is extreme. I'm now suffering from a medically recognised condition called LAPDPTSD. I did the work, and I haven't seen a cent or gotten any recognition for it. OK, the guys made me a special medal back at the precinct afterwards, but the chief says I'm not allowed to wear it in public.
'So, having shot her ass off, now I'm suing it off. And let this be a warning to visiting foreigners: if you don't know how the law works in America, don't come here.'
In response to the legal action, Channel 9 News and Lauren Tomasi released a lengthy statement, which is printed here in its entirety:
'Strewth.'
