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LinkedIn can't keep up with Cabinet reshuffle

Said a flustered intern: 'Just when I've updated a new Education Secretary, they go and resign. ND it's the fifth Chancellor of the Exchequer we've had in the last hour'.

This flurry of job changes has caused panic among those responsible for organising insincere leaver's speeches. With most farewell cards starting 'Dear Minister, Sorry to see you go. Enjoy being unemployed/promoted/PM - delete as appropriate'.

Sources close to Boris say he has updated his employment status to 'circus clown' and 'part time sperm donor'. Meanwhile LinkedIn has listed all Ministerial jobs as zero-contract hours.


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