Reykjavik: Pandemonium ensued in the corridors of the Icelandic parliament today as the country’s president received a telephone call from Liz Truss who seemed to be declaring that Britain was going to annex northern Iceland.
Bjork Magnussen, spokesperson for the Iceland’s President said, “The President was left very worried and confused. The North Iceland region is one we are most proud of and is a huge source of income from tourism. Then all of a sudden we had someone from the British government banging on about a hard border with the rest of the island.
“She then bombarded the President with some statistics relating to the importing of apples and cheese before telling him she loved his Irish accent and that she thought Bono was great.
“But when the President informed her she was calling Iceland, she simply said “Oh well, I’ll have three frozen pizzas and a box of Cornettos, please.””
“We have had to refer this matter to the International Court of Justice as a diplomatic incident and await the traditional non-apology of Britain’s current Conservative government.”
When asked to comment on the debacle, Truss said, “It’s weird, when I was doing my in-depth research, the first thing it says on the Wikipedia entry is “not to be confused with Ireland”, so you’d think I’d have clocked it then. But no.”
Bizarrely, she followed up this statement by adopting an accent and laughing, “What a mistake-a to make-a!” before munching on a Cornetto and trying to wink but actually just blinking manically.
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