Ministry of Justice to implement new hard-hitting plans to deal with convicted prisoners
- Chipchase
- 2 minutes ago
- 1 min read
In an attempt to staunch the recent and highly embarrassing flow of prisoners being allowed to go free moments after having been sentenced to imprisonment, the Ministry of Justice has issued new tough guidelines.
A department spokesman explained: 'We've come up with a rather clever scheme, actually. As convicted prisoners leave the dock, a security guard will accompany them to a holding area in the court to be known as "the cells".
'There they will await the arrival of transport to bring them to jail. Upon arrival there they will be shown into their new accommodation and the door will then be locked. Why no one's thought of it before is somewhat puzzling. Gosh, what silly old sausages we've been.'Â