Missing Village Idiot tipped to be next PM
The sleepy village of Chims on Lea Shropshire, has issued an urgent appeal following the sudden disappearance of its resident village idiot. Brian Dempsey, Chair of The Parish Council said: ‘We’re quite worried, as Liz is nowhere to be seen. One minute, as per usual, she was sitting on a wall with a straw in her mouth, pointing at the aeroplanes mumbling about cheese quotas and squawking like a demented crow, next thing we hear a rumour she’s up in that there London, talking about politics.
‘It’s a worry as she’s a simple soul but completely unsuited to anything other than stamp collecting or raffia work. If anyone knows her whereabouts please let us know immediately.’ Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Tory Party commented. ‘I think Liz has the credentials to make a fist of turning the party’s fortunes around.
‘She’s innocuous, dizzy, rather slow on the uptake and as thick as two short planks. With any luck she’ll turn out to be a rabid racist too and when this is incontrovertibly proven, then our ancient and reactionary octogenarian membership is sure to install her as the next PM.’