Conservative: "I bet I lose my seat in the next election"
Labour: "Sorry, you won't have heard of me, but I'm your next MP"
Reform: "My struggle against 14 and a half years of Tory lies, stupidity and cowardice"
Lib Dem: "Councillors can be MPs too!"
Green: "Green is the new Red"
SNP: "They may take our lives, but they will never take OUR FREEDOM! Lend us a tenner for stamps...""
Plaid Cymru: [Something unintelligible with no vowels]
DUP: "My good friend Gordon says homosexuality is ungodly."
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