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New coffee cup lid promises to soak your entire shirt

'We wanted to develop something that would leave you arid but your chest drenched. The current industry standard is 25% liquid in your mouth, 75% in your lap - but we felt we could go full soggy bottom.

'Having had success with our exploding milk pots and pointless stick stirrers, we thought it was time to finally make a lid that doesn't work. We had an early ill-fitting prototype, where the lid would just fall off, but that was too obvious. The trick is not giving the game away. We needed a lid that looked fully functional but was in fact a fire hose.

'All drinks become defacto decaffeinated, as no caffeine will touch your lips. And everyone's shirt gets an instant clean, as long as you like brown stains.'

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