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Number of children sad about strikes, officially at zero

While right-wing journalists insist that kids would be happier doing double maths or working up a chimney, evidence is mounting that schoolchildren actually like a day off. ‘Who knew?’ said one sociologist. ‘Apparently rolling down a hill is more exciting than fronted adverbials.’

The Education Department was unequivocal in its condemnation: ‘Children’s lives are being ruined by these strikes. Instead of being in cramped classrooms, filled with infection and unnecessary exam prep – they’re being forced to have fun. Running amok with carefree smiles on their faces. Actual freedom. It’s outrageous!’

Said one excited teen: ‘I’ve got it all planned out. First, I’m going to sleep to midday. Then I’m going to hook up with my girlfriend down the park. Then after that, we’ve got five hours of Grand Theft Auto and all the pizza we can eat. Oh, and something about teacher’s wages blah, blah, blah.’

image from pixabay

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