Oh My Godthåb: Greenland renamed the Golf of America
- Steveb
- 9 minutes ago
- 1 min read
Godthåb is the former name of Greenland's capital, which has not had this much publicity since Kristen Wiig sang Space Oddity to an empty pub as Walter Mitty dived into a chopper with a plastered pilot.
As the increasingly sane, decent and rational President Trump plans to invade it because penguins manufacture oil out of polar bears, Senators considered whether passing a law clarifying that America cannot occupy a NATO territory would make any difference.
No. No it did not. A press statement from the White House briefing ballroom made it perfectly clear: 'Arctic foxes from Greenland are smuggling fentanyl inside their rectums, swimming over to our great country and killing Americans. So we're gonna do something about that. From tomorrow, we will start kicking fox ass with bunker busters.
'Get ready to put another star on our flag. The 51st State will be Greenland, a place which clearly lends itself so well to putting, we will rename it The Golf of America.
'At this time, we ask that no one say out loud what they now call their capital. Nuuk is triggering for the President, and... f**ing sh*tf**k, I just said it, didn't I?'