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Old Moore promises to do better

The publishers of the legendary Old Moore’s Almanac have confessed that they didn’t get 2022 quite right. A spokesperson informed the media:-

“We admit that the current publication has not been our finest hour – or year for that matter. To be fair, we did get the first 6 months pretty much spot on. Well as much as vague, vapid predictions ever do. However who could have possibly foreseen that the second half of the year would be such a total shitstorm? We didn’t – ha ha that’s an off the record ironic joke by the way.

"Honestly, if we could really predict the future we would be hedge fund managers trousering billions, not writing crap only purchased by morons – oops the last comment is off the record too.

"Nevertheless I will give you a 100% accurate prediction. Anyone wanting a refund on this year’s edition – or next years for that matter – is certain to be disappointed.

"We do understand that we need to improve our forecasts. We are heavily investing in new talent to get 2023 right. An exciting new recruit is Kwasi ‘Gypsy’ Kwarteng. If his crystal ball is playing up he is also skilled in reading the entrails of a sacrificial goat – or Prime Minister”

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