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Old person confirms: “Actually, we are trying to piss you off”

An old person has confirmed that the impression they’re going out of their way to irritate and annoy younger people was entirely correct.

”You probably thought we’ve learned to live with the fact that you now have the good looks, health and vigour we used to enjoy,” said one old bat today.

”Not a bit of it. We loathe and despise every last one of you, with your perfect eyesight, functioning knees and watertight bladders.”

”Quite right,” said her husband. “I didn’t fight in the Battle of Britain… but if I had, I’d probably bring it up a lot to try and make young people feel guilty at having such easy lives.

“That’s why we waddle from side to side on the pavement or in supermarket aisles so you can’t get past, and make you repeat everything even though we heard you the first time, then pretend we’ve forgotten what you were talking about so you have to start the whole conversation again.”

“Not that it isn’t satisfying lying in bed, listening you get up to go to work to pay for our pensions,” grinned his wife. “And doing it in a house we could easily afford on an average wage, while you can never dream of leaving rented accommodation. Still, it’s the little extras that really make it worthwhile.”

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