Dear NewsBiscuit readers,
Brownose Publishers of Arselikhan are proud to offer you exclusively a comprehensive collection of quotations by our most majestic, serene, divine and gracious former sovereign lady, Elizabeth II.
These quotations, uttered to her humble and adoring subjects over the course of seven glorious, God-given decades, reflect the very deep thoughts of our most high and mighty, serene and spiritual, sovereign thingy.
Those quotations in full:
1. Have you come far?
2. And what do you do?
3. Work you hard, do they?
4. That's it.
With a bonus selection of quotes from Roddy Llewelyn, an irascible blue macaw owned by Princess Margaret which recited the early works of TS Eliot in a thick German accent: "Let us go, tsen, you und I."
Yours for only £215.99, while stocks last.
And with a foreword by His Majesty, the most gracious, over-privileged and simpering Charles III: "It really isn't appalling."