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"Owl" and "Pussycat" to be deported

A foreign couple who landed in a small boat were arrested yesterday at Bong Tree Beach. The pair, who only identified themselves as 'Owl' and 'Pussycat' are now expected to be deported to the Great Gromboolian Plain, as part of the Government getting tough on small boat refugees.

'I knew they weren’t from round here', said Pig, a local resident. 'They jumped out of their small boat on the beach and ran up to me, waving wildly, pointing at my nose, with their hands full of cash. Well, lots of people have nose rings these days, even F1 drivers, and that’s when I got suspicious and called the authorities. They tried to spin some story about having been at sea for a year and only eating honey but I wasn’t falling for it. I’m tired of this island being a soft touch for all kinds of foreigners. Call me "gammon" if you like.'

Police noted this appeared to be a much better organised migration than other recent attempts, such as that by the so-called 'Jumblies', whose craft they described as 'seriously unseaworthy'.

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