UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has confided to aides that he would rather get skiing lessons from Gwyneth Paltrow than pay any attention to the fact there is a new Scottish First Minister, Humza Yousaf.
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said ‘Between them, Sunak and Yousaf have won zero general elections. Rishi actually lost a Conservative leadership race to Liz Truss. The Queen of the Pork Markets then went on to lose to a lettuce. It’s lucky Rishi didn’t have to stand against the lettuce when he was elected – the free markets can be so cruel.’
‘Humza Yousaf beating Kate Forbes 52/48 feels a bit like the SNP are taking the Brexit-y piss. Anyway, if the new Scottish First Minister calls, we’ll just say the phone was on a high shelf and Rishi couldn’t reach.’