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PM will put 'Having the same problems' into manifesto

A strange fellow (not featured) without a mandate but who still insists he is definitely Prime Minister has pledged to keep having the same problems, not only for 2023, but put it into the Conservative manifesto for the next election.

'I can promise today that we will carry on the same series of disastrous policies and decisions for the rest of this parliament which will continue until at least 2025. Not only that, if elected we will introduce a Department of Ineptness (the DoE), that will examine all government polices to make sure that we maintain a level of incompetence around 4 or 5 Graylings out of 10. Any higher than that means that we've tried to physically replace planes with trains and we're really in trouble.'

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