Updated: Jan 1
Much to the surprise of art historians, Malcolm Broadbridge (of Shanklin's 'Red Lion') has confessed that his eclectic décor
was not acquired during five years at La Sorbonne but was, in fact, a job lot of brick-a-brac. Customers were shocked to discover that Damien Hirst did not create 'Industrial farming equipment on rope', 'Brass doodads' or the eponymous 'Grainy photograph of village paedophile'.
The publican further admitted that the authentic charm of his oak-panelled urinal trough and his flock wall-papered tables, were just a cynical marketing device to lure people into purchasing drinks. Any attempt to create an aesthetically pleasing environment was purely coincidental - and very much in the beer-goggled eye of the beholder.
Throughout the decade, aesthetes had flocked to experience Broadbridge's audacious post-modern choices; be it the Tudor beams combined with 1970’s light fittings, the wagon-wheel dartboard or to experience the chef's salad in the 'brutalist style'. Malcolm was philosophical: 'I may have to hand back my Turner Prize, but I just felt guilty, I couldn't keep passing off a pile of shite as art. I don't know how James Corden does it'.