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Pubic lice accuse head lice of spying

It is a barely known fact that never the twain shall meet. The rival factions of head lice and pubic lice never enter the territories of each other, which means that they never come to know and appreciate the ways of their distant cousins.

This in turn leads to misunderstanding, mistrust, and through unhelpful aggressive rhetoric from their leaders, a culture of hate festers which can sometimes spill over into lousism.

The President of the Democratic Repubic has in recent days accused the Head Louse of conducting a series of spying missions: 'Hair space has been violated!' In response, Head Louse has vehemently refuted the allegations declaring, 'What do you think you've got down there that could be of any interest to anyone?'

Lice everywhere are concerned that the situation could escalate, and fear what they call 'the coming of the apocalyptic shampoo'.

Meanwhile, lice residing in the far away state of The Dog have called for calm, offering to broker a cessation of hostilities and a long-term peace treaty. For some reason, with a great deal of licking involved. 'It is an uncomfortable situation on all sides, and negotiations must begin from scratch,' panted the humbly obedient and often playful Canine Lead Louse.

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