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Reason for scratching arse found

Scientists from the University of Bern, buoyed by their success in determining why primates pick their nose, have been researching other anti-social traits shared across primates.

'We studied Lemurs that picked their noses, then eating the scrapings - initially believing it was due to a shared primate belief in the bogeyman,' said a lead scientist, 'but it turns out it was just that snot tastes great - something five year old children have known for generations,' he added.

'However we considered other traits shared, and we've noticed that many apes scratch their arse and smell their fingers.

'This suggests that construction, particularly plumbing, isn't just a human endeavour. Apparently any low-IQ knuckle-dragging moron can get a BTEC in plumbing these days,' he said. 'And often apes will lower themselves to learn these tasks as well,' he added.

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