A major operation was underway in Downing Street this morning. Emergency services rushed to the scene after receiving dozens of calls reporting a trapped man inside number ten.
The man is known to security services and has a long record of embellishing facts, stretching the truth and telling the most outrageous porkies. This includes tax hikes, claiming Jeremy Corbyn wanted to scrap Jeremy Corbyn and something about forty new hospitals.
The Head of Search and Rescue said it was a difficult operation, and his teams were working in incredibly challenging and dangerous conditions.
‘We believe the sheer weight of lies and falsehoods finally caught up with the man, and the rug was suddenly pulled from under his feet. The upper floor then collapsed under the weight of bullshit which brought everything down on top of him.
Our rescuers are keeping him warm by wrapping him in the rug, and I’m told they have every confidence he won’t run out of hot air anytime soon. The rapidly escalating situation is very much touch and go. We touch him and then we all want to go.'