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Rishi: we've negotiated a better deal with the Atmosphere

"People of Britain. A few disgruntled voices lately have questioned our commitment to the environment. Sometimes they say we're apathetic because we’re totally in thrall to the fossil fuel companies. This is misleading media twaddle – the fact is, we’re in thrall to lots of major industries.”

“No, the main reason why Britain can still order more oil exploration and build coal mines and more airports and roads and drop onshore wind and the Climate and Nature funding pledge [do we really need to say all these, Amber] is because we’ve negotiated a better deal with the Atmosphere. This is an example of one of the benefits of Brexit. Nicknamed “Project Atmos”, because we’ve taken out the “Fear”, it’s been a difficult but ultimately rewarding operation, undertaken by our SoS for the Environment, Therese Coffey.

“The trip to the Land of Clouds was long and dangerous, and definitely required the use of an RAF plane. The challenge was - how can you negotiate with a grey, featureless, impassive blob? Well, the Atmosphere couldn’t either so, we’ve come away with the guarantee that Britain will have longer (certainly longer than the EU) to prepare for the coming meteorological apocalypse.

“Other parts of the world, especially the EU, will experience catastrophic floods and drought and food shortages, while Britain has an agreement that means stable climate in our time.”

image from pixabay

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