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RMT to "cynically" boost Eurovision viewing figures

After a government minister accused the RMT of cynicism, the Union has admitted that calling strike action for the same day as the Eurovision Song Contest is only about enabling rail workers to stay at home and watch the contest on TV.

"Railway staff love Eurovision" said Union spokesperson Sally Arbuthnot, "you should see Mick Lynch when he's had a few lambrinis, dancing along to Boom Bang-a-Lang and shouting when the French give us nul points. So, it's a fair cop, the strike is just to make sure we all get to watch it instead of working."

When our reporter put it to Ms Arbuthnot that the strike was really designed to cause chaos for the crowds heading to Liverpool to watch the contest, she replied "You what? Who the hell watches Eurovision in person?"

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