Rolling power cuts could start TONIGHT
Journalists with no proper work to do are whipping up concerns that power cuts in Britain could start almost immediately.
'This isn't scaremongering,' said one of the scaremongers. 'This is based on solid evidence. Britain would suffer emergency power cuts if the wind stops and all of our solar panels get covered in Saharan dust, and if all of our nuclear power stations take a break in sympathy with French reactors and if gas stops working properly for some reason and if everyone in Britain turns on every appliance they've got, just for the hell of it.
'This could happen AT ANY TIME. Carry a torch at all times. Head for the hills! Stockpile lard! But please take out a subscription to our newspaper first.'