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  • Writer's pictureTitus

Scandals yet to come

It may seem like the media are feasting on a constant diet of scandals at the moment, but be warned, there are plenty more feeders lurking at the scandal buffet ready to serve up more cold, unappetising dishes of sickening misconduct, fattening impropriety and explosive wrongdoing.

Brace yourselves for:

InvestiGate - demands for financial regulator to look into behaviour of savings bank

MarGate - seaside scandal involving one's mother

RamsGate - seaside scandal involving male sheep

ReiGate - scandal of trying to pass off whisky made in Surrey as American whiskey

DeleGate - scandal of passing control of specialist food shop to inexperienced staff

InterroGate - scandal of excessively scary police questioning techniques

NaviGate - scandal over direction of Britain's warships

FiveBarredGate - scandal involving nearly half-a-dozen MPs banned from Westminster for viewing 'farm porn'

MitiGate - fantasy scandal which is not actually that scandalous at all, really

PromulGate - the posting of fake favourable reviews of a Scottish island

ProfliGate - scandal of universities employing an excessive number of senior academic staff

HarroGate - Yorkshire scandal involving other disturbing farm equipment porn

FloodGate - moist scandal encompassing a deluge of many scandals

NeGate - ineffective scandal involving negative Russians

PropaGate - major scandal which has spread as far as Yorkshire

CastiGate - scandal involving severely reprimanded theatre ensemble

CircumnaviGate - scandal involving the foreskin removal of rail workers around the world

CowandGate - Scandal that would have swept the nation if Neil Parish hadn't deleted his disturbing farmyard porn in the nick of time

MasturGate - Scandal exposing self-abuse in ventriloquists' dummy community.

Contributions from and hat tips to sydalg and SteveB

Image from Pixabay by blende12

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