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Shakira: 'My hips don’t lie. But my tax returns...'

Colombian pop singer Shakira has shimmied her way out of a potential 8 year jail sentence after settling a tax fraud case in Spain.

A spokesperson gyrated seductively: 'It’s lucky that Shakira’s breasts are small and humble, much like her tax liability for the period 2012 to 2014. This time for Africa, which she might have been in, even though a 'World' Tour is usually code for Europe and North America. Whenever, wherever, she was, she isn’t a beautiful liar. She'll wolf down this fine.'

Shakira’s only outstanding legal concern is thought to be a case being brought by Muppet Show alumnus Fozzie Bear, over the use of the phrase "Waca waca" on merch.

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