Following the publication by the Fabian Society of Kier Starmer's missing homework, it has now been marked by his Modern Politics tutor in secondary school, Mr Birch. The essay, which was intended to be handed in in May 1977, was discovered in a satchel his mum had given to a charity shop a few months ago.
Mr Birch, who had Kier down as 'unlikely to go anywhere' has reviewed the essay and marked it as a C minus. 'Pretty good for Kier, I never gave anyone more than a C plus anyway,' said the retired teacher, who still sticks with his career forecast for Kier.
'The essay was about 'how I will make a difference, or at least make anybody notice me',' the teacher said, holding the Fabian pamphlet out at arm's length. 'This can be summarised to 'I'm not Boris and I'm not Jeremy', but he still hasn't said what he is. If I was still teaching I'd have him round and give him twenty lashes of the cane, just like in the good old days,' added Mr Birch.