Table soccer icons, Subbuteo, have announced that they are launching a World Cup edition in time for the start of the tournament on November 20 which will feature all the thrills of the greatest football show on earth while also representing the oppressive, homophobic, stance of the Qatari government.
Initially, players will be able to choose which of their favourite country’s teams to represent.
Then when the match is underway, each player will be awarded bonus points for hurling homophobic abuse at gay-looking plastic spectator figures in the crowd.
These stylishly-dressed, well-coiffured figures can then be flicked around, Subbuteo style, outside the ground to simulate the battering they can expect from the local cops when making their way back to their hotel post-match.
When questioned, the spokesman denied recent reports that scale models of football WAGS were also being planned with a view to having them beaten by Qatari police and then imprisoned without trial for illicit drinking in the ladies toilets, wearing revealing clothing, and apostasy.