That Man City appeal in full
An independent panel has found Manchester City Football Club to be guilty of 115 offences of financial misconduct. The club say that the independent panel is clearly biased, stupid, corrupt and, worst of all, Southern. They are appealing all the guilty findings.
The club’s case for the defence rests on six key arguments that we found in a bin outside the Etihad Stadium. They are:
1. We didn't handle the money inside the penalty area
2. A big club did it and ran away
3. Andy says we're innocent, and what more do you need?
4. The money just started spewing out of ATMs at the ground, so we booked it as revenue.
5. The extra money didn't affect the team’s performance
6. The money was just resting in our account
City are confident that they can overturn all 115 guilty findings. A spokesman said, ‘We’ve got the best judges money can buy.’
Image: ChatGPT
