Press Officers have announced that, prior to visiting the Queen on Wednesday to hand over the Great Seal of Office, Theresa May will take to the roof of Downing Street for one final performance of her greatest hits.
With Philip Hammond on Hammond organ, Alan 'Slow Hand' Duncan on lead Guitar, Charlie 'The Lips' Elphicke on the mouth organ and May on vocals (cough sweets at hand), the Fab Four (going under the band name of The Maytles or The Burning Injustices) will belt out a running order to remember their time in office. The song list goes as follows:
Get Back (To Where You Came From on Your Student Visa) Hey Jew (Don't be Afraid of Being Deselected) Here Comes the Grenfell Tower Enquiry While my Civil Service Gently Weeps Happiness is a Warm Safe Conservative seat in Kent Roll Over Brexit Withdrawal Date Eight Days a Week (Will be the new Holiday Entitlement if Corbyn Gets in) Take Good Care of My Baby Until my Universal Credit Payments are Sorted out When I'm Sixty Four (I Will Still be on a Zero-Hours Contract You've Got to Hide Your Husband's Connection to Off-Shore Funds Away All You Need is Strong and Stable Not a Third Time We Can Work it Out (But Not to the Satisfaction of the ERG) Can't Buy Me a Majority The Wrong and Whining Toad With a Little Help from My Friends in the Brexit Party Baby You're a Rich Man (Assuming Your Father Was) The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill Cash You Always Give Me Your Money Norwegian Model (This Bird Has Flown) I Want to Hold Your Assets Sanctioning the Benefits of Mr Kite Dear Fiscal Prudence Draft Agreement Writer She's Leaving (And About Bloody Time Too)
The final concert will also be filmed for posterity by BBC Panorama. Downing Street have warned spectators below to be careful of neck pain when they are looking up at the concert from ground level or when looking up at the size of Boris Johnson's ego when he enters Downing Street the day after. Hat tips: Ugi, Oxbridge, Chipchase