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Toff's shock as court ruling gives green light to cruising commoners

Sir Nigel Pithers, who lost his case to sue a cruise company for having "ordinary people" as passengers aboard one of its luxury liners, is in shock after the ruling now appears to green light the general public being allowed on cruise liners without first having to pass a basic etiquette test.

Speaking after the hearing, the fifty-two year-old claims cruising’s exclusivity has "now all but gone", citing as an example how he and wife Daphne had to "endure mixing with quasi-yobbos" during what he says was a "two week ordeal worse than hell".

He told reporters: ‘We began to have serious misgivings on the flight out to rendezvous with the vessel, when we could hear what sounded like northern accents coming from a few rows in front of us. But that was only the beginning.

On the first evening we went for a pre-dinner stroll on the promenade deck, but were immediately confronted with all sorts of rough types, cackling and drinking beer from bottles. There was even a party of obese men and their equally ghastly wives in singlets and Union Jack shorts.

‘When they spotted Daphne in her ball gown they called out "Ooh, look, It’s Lord and Lady Muck out for their stroll. Here, has he taken you up the poop deck yet, darling?" It was quite horrendous. We took to our suite for the remainder of the voyage and only came out for final disembarkation.’

Sir Nigel is considering an appeal but fears he's not got the courage to see it though, as it would inevitably mean having to leave his country estate and risk having to mix with the public at large once again.

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