Trump ecstatic with small town airport being named after him

"Now I've got an honour that Obama and Sleepy Joe Biden haven't," bragged US President Donald Trump to reporters in the urinals of the newly named Trump International Airport in Nosedive, Indiana. "An airport named after me, me, me. Millions of people now are going to be starting their descent into Trump."

Trump then unveiled plans to turn the airport's control tower into the Trump Control Tower Casino and the airport baggage hall into the Trump Congress.

"I'll pass all the laws I like in my own Baggage Hall Congress," said Trump. "Then I'll veto them and pass them all again."

"And I'll be turning the airport fence into a big, beautiful airport wall. Any Air Mexico flights which try to land here will crash right into it."

Later that day, the control tower casino declared bankruptcy, the Democrats won a majority in the baggage hall Congress and Trump sold off all the planes in the airport hangars to his kleptocrat friends to use as bombers against former US allies.