Truss dumped Kwarteng with “It’s not you, it’s me” text message
KK - hey how you doing - get the friends reference Liz?
LT - yes Kwasi but not doing well hun
KK - what’s up hun
LT - you know you're my BAE? But it’s not you it’s me - I’m don’t know how to say this
KK - What
LT - I’m going to have to get a new Money man
KK - what do you mean
LT - It’s over Kwasi, can you give back the keys to number 11
KK - Please Liz, please don’t dump me - I’ve only just got back from New York to be specially by your side, I didn’t get a chance to do any Christmas shopping, visit the Friends building, hell I didn’t even get a chance to meet Tom Cruise at the IMF thingy you sent me to. All I got was boring economic talk. Please give me another chance. Pretty Pretty PLEASE.
LT - sorry it’s you or me, and this time it’s you and I’m seeing Jeremy now.
KK - Noooooooooooo
First published 19 Oct 2022
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