UK to install recording devices in your arse

After online censorship, onboard breathalysers, the next logical step is Rectal Freedom Plugs. RFPs will be inserted in every adult, under local anesthetic or three pints of larger. RFPs will be keep everyone on their toes, literally - it will be very uncomfortable to sit.

Sir Keir Starmer is the man with a vision and far too much lube. The RFPs will monitor all illicit behaviour - although many argue the vibration warning will act as an incentive not a deterrent.

They will come in a range of colours, but who would know. But you can upgrade to a cheeky fox tail antenna. Explained the Minister: 'Oh, it's not about tracking you, we just thought it would be funny.'

image from pixabay

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