Untitled
- Sully
- 4 minutes ago
- 1 min read
Following warnings for UK citizens to observe the clout-casting laws or face severe penalties, I interviewed a spokesman for the Metropolitan Police.
‘Why now?’ I asked.
‘It’s the Bank Holiday. Brings ‘em out’, he told me. ‘We might not necessarily agree with the law but it’s our solemn duty to enforce it’.
‘And what, exactly, does casting a clout mean?’
‘If you know, you know’, he said, tapping his nose conspiratorially.
‘Erm, that’s the problem. If I don’t know what it is, might I do it accidentally?’
‘Look up Regina vs . . . oh, can’t remember the name. It was in the 1960s. Ignorance of the law is no defence’.
‘Am I casting a clout now?’ I asked him.
‘No’.
‘If you tell me I can pass it on to NewsBiscuit readers and they won’t get in trouble’.
‘NewsBiscuit? You barstards, you hate the Met. All because of a few murders and rapes. And a bit of corruption. I hope some of your readers cast a clout before May 31st so we can bang ‘em up!’
So you’ve been warned. Well, sort of. Don’t do anything which might be interpreted as casting a clout before the end of May. And if you do, try not to do it in London. Wales should be fine, anything goes there.
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story could we gossip about you in the office? It’s really quiet today.