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US Election to be decided by 50 States of Grey

With the oldest candidates since the open audition for the role of Gandalf, the US is facing an election dominated by elderly issues – and comfy slippers. Biden is one foot in the grave and Trump is one foot in prison. Even their prime-time dementia debates will be followed by a nap time.

Complained one voter: ‘How do we choose between two men who think 2024 is well passed their bed time. Many Americans can remember where they were when JFK was shot, these two can remember where they were when Lincoln was shot.’

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