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Woman Says She May Have Opened Crisps By Mistake In Public

A woman who says she may have opened some crisps by mistake in public when she should have been paying attention at work has been questioned by a person of average intelligence who just finds it a bit of an unlikely thing to do by mistake, and also quite an easy slip up to remedy if you had done it in error.

The crisp opener was asked, ‘When you found you had opened the crisps by mistake, and realised that right in front of you, all enticing and potatoey, there was crisps-based content for all to see, why did you not then use a method to close them again instantly? Perhaps the Klippit popularised by Lakeland, or an elastic band, or put them in a box until the time at which you did want them open and could enjoy them in private. You could even have hidden the spuddy contraband behind your back to avoid anyone looking over your shoulder and catching a glimpse of root vegetable. By keeping the crisps open, and then consuming the crisps for a period of time, people could infer, not unreasonably, that you did mean to open the crisps and then make repeated use of their rhythmic sexy crunch despite being in public.'

The woman's husband has indicated he is standing by her and stated that while he personally doesn’t approve of crisps he knows that many women enjoy them. Colleagues have said the turgid tubers offended their eyes.

Original image from Pixabay by FotoshopTofs

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