PoliticsBiscuit
Civilians who have recently been evacuated from the besieged Old City of Homs in Syria have been cheered by news that, while their 18-month ordeal was going on under the eyes of the world, their comrades in the Wiltshire market town of Marlborough had at last succeeded in their campaign to get planning approval for a new Tesco on the outskirts of town.
Channel 4 has announced its Spring schedule today, confirming that viewers will be treated to a unique documentary that explores the struggle to gain wider acceptance between those afflicted with Serious Political Influence (SPI), and ‘regular people’.
The 19-year-old ‘King of Teen Pop’ has confirmed via Twitter that he will be running for office in this year’s Toronto Mayoral elections.
MPs are preparing for the arrival of a new piece of wearable technology that will help them navigate difficult terrain and always guide them towards the high moral ground.
The EPS, or Ethical Positioning System, operates by triangulating a person’s political standpoint via a number of morally aware ‘smart satellites’. If a politician starts to veer off course, perhaps about to break a manifesto pledge, the Sat Nav will interrupt with the message: ‘You are no longer on the agreed route, please perform a U-turn now.’
UK food banks have become so large and interconnected they cannot possibly be allowed to fail claims an independent think tank. Writing in The Economist, Bank of England Chairman Mark Carney agreed with the evidence put forward by the policy researchers, saying he thought they had got it spot on.
Food distribution centres are now such an integral part of government policy it is unthinkable what would happen should they be allowed to go under said Carney. ‘These banks are at the heart of the nation’s service industry, employing thousands of people and serving millions of customers across the UK. They can be seen on every high street and shopping mall and have come to represent everything this government stands for’ he added.
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