Three ‘blind’ mice lose disability benefits in welfare crackdown
The three blind mice made famous in the popular nursery rhyme have been stripped of their disability benefits, the Department for Work and Pensions confirmed today.
PoliticsBiscuit
Chancellor now understands ‘why we cry’
Scientists today expressed excitement that the pioneering android Chancellor, Gideon11, may have for the first time experienced something equivalent to human emotion.
Big beasts of Tory party ‘dangerously close to extinction’
The recent demise of the Thatcher, once considered the most fearsome of all the big Tory beasts, has put renewed focus on the dwindling numbers of Tories who, in happier times, roamed freely through the jungles of Middle England.
Iron Lady stolen by scrap metal thieves
‘At this stage we believe Mrs Thatcher may have been accidentally left outside on the street and pinched when no-one was watching by some entrepreneurial rag-and-bone men,’ explained Detective Inspector Dean Morgan who is leading the investigation. ‘With a street value of almost three quid, she could be anywhere by now. My guess is she’s already in a scrapyard, squashed between two Ford Cortinas.’
BBC agrees to play short clip of controversial Thatcher ‘funeral’
The BBC has defended its decision to broadcast a short excerpt from the controversial ‘funeral’ gathering planned to mark support for the ideology of Baroness Thatcher, who died this week apparently.
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