‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’
In yet another concession towards Scottish nationalists, Westminster has announced that from Summer 2015 Holyrood will be able to take control of plot and character development in the version of EastEnders broadcast in Scotland.
The Prime Minister today announced a new raft of measures designed to combat the threat of Britons joining the shadowy extremist group UKIP, including removing the right of those individuals to later return to the Conservative Party.
Much to the surprise and delight of the Labour faithful, their leader announced sweeping gains in the US Senate today. Despite being separated by a political ideology and 3000 miles of Atlantic Ocean, Ed Miliband was able to take the credit for the Republican Party’s recent success and for becoming the first British female solo artist to have five number one singles in the UK.