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Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’

Aliens could claim child tax credits for children living outside the orbit of PlutoThe prospect of thousands of little green men signing on for JobSeeker’s Allowance at Jobcentres across the UK is forcing government ministers to tighten the rules for accessing welfare benefits.

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New woes for government as official figures show speculation up by, say, 30%

could be right although, hang on...Despite a promise in the coalition agreement of a year on year decrease until at least 2015, the UK speculation market this morning peaked well above what government analysts have sparingly calculated to be ‘excessive and dangerous levels’, which could potentially lead to a catastrophic something.

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An Idiot’s Guide To: The Eastleigh by-election

your questions answered
Over the next few days, you will be hearing a lot about the Eastleigh by-election. But what is a by-election and why do Eastleigh get one and not you? Don’t worry, your questions are answered in this… Idiots’ guide to the Eastleigh by-election

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Lib Dems announce amnesia ‘no longer a membership requirement’

everyone agrees with NickFollowing several embarrassing incidents of forgetfulness, the Liberal Democrats have agreed to stop making amnesia a requirement of party membership.

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Triple-dip recession likely as Chancellor puts UK on Magic Beans Standard

Confidence in the UK economy hit an all-time low yesterday when it was revealed that George Osborne has placed the country on the Magic Beans Standard.

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