PoliticsBiscuit
The nation, which was sentenced to be part of Great Britain in 1707, had been seeking a parole hearing in 2014, but it will now be released with immediate effect following medical reports that its condition is terminal.
‘They have that innate affinity that marks out all the great synchronised swimming teams. When David suddenly lurches to the right, Nick instinctively follows – they are inseparable.’
Science fiction fans have voiced their delight after two old episodes of John Major’s premiership were rediscovered in a negotiating room.
The two rediscovered episodes are from a 1991 story entitled ‘The Continental Menace’ and show Mr Major in the role of Prime Minister thwarting the evil European Commission on the planet Maastricht. The adventure was found unexpectedly during a clearout by a Mr Cameron of London, who did not initially realise the significance of what he had found.
Scientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle.
The Clegg’s existence has been postulated for some time as a means to resolving strange inconsistencies in the Standard Political Model, while remaining barely detectable itself.
‘The Clegg is very tiny and only capable of weak interactions,’ explained Professor Jim Al-Khalili, ‘However, despite exerting only a very small force, it appears to play a key role in providing the mass for some of the larger political elements.’
The government has today announced plans to vary the route through which it obtains capital funding by avoiding Brussels completely and extending the line to China.
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