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Jeremy Corbyn enters Labour race in an alternate Universe

Labour having to boldly go where no party has gone before to find a new leaderScience fiction and socialism fans alike, have been delighted to discover that in a hypothetical self-contained reality there exists an actual left-wing candidate. The Member of Parliament for Islington North has managed to secure enough nominations to get on the ballot, but only in a parallel universe where there is compassion, collective responsibility and where we are ruled by a race of four-foot high, furry, purple bipeds all named ‘Michael Foot’.

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Cameron returns from Euro break with a dose of the clap

'this is why Europe needs reform, and more sanitary lamposts'A sheepish Prime Minister has returned to Downing Street from his EU ‘whistle-stop’ tour with what can only be described as a bad case of sunstroke and a ‘mysterious rash’.

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EU diplomatic ‘shit list’ drawn up by the Tourism Board, say Kremlin

Grab a bargain now before prices fall!A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’

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Labour leadership race heats up as candidate displays vital life signs

finger on the ... oh, forget itA so-far tepid Labour leadership race has started to heat up after one of the candidates was found to have a pulse last night.

Medical experts unexpectedly found the vital life sign on Liz Kendall. Her supporters hope this will help bring some much need vigour to her campaign.

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Jubilant Londoners take to the streets in support of Galloway

Not since VE Day have so many people swarmed the capital, to welcome a new era of Galloway self-aggrandisement. Responding to the pleas of orphans and the hopes of a generation, the ex-Respect MP had declared his candidacy for Mayor of London and cat impressionist to the masses.

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