Chicago Police say that the US actor orchestrated a hoax involving a big red bus and unicorn from Nigeria. A police spokeswoman confirmed: ‘Mr. Smollet claimed that he was the victim of an assault by two racists. But CCTV footage shows that Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage were nowhere near there’.
In a tearful interview Mr. Smollett denied that he had ever said that Brexit would be easy or that Northern Ireland was a real place. Said one reviewer: ‘Mr. Smollett was giving the performance of a life-time, until he got to describing Liam Fox’s trade negotiations – then he just corpsed.’
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The government has stated that World War three, constantly forecast since 1947, is now officially on hold. 'There is too much infighting in the Conservative Party to consider fighting an outside threat, although we still think we can take the Lib Dems, definitely the Greens,' said a spokesman.
When asked if the government was concerned by WW3 starting from a less local proximity, for example Russia, the government spokesman stuck to the official line. 'Russia is busy right now losing in Ukraine, or not winning anywhere near as well as they would like plus, with a General Election due this year and the US election at the end they really have their hands full manipulating the votes.
'But if you really want to know what is going to happen this year, why not ask Rupert Murdoch? It's his agenda, not ours or the American's. If he isn't picking up his phone, ask to speak to his fiancé. Don't worry about interrupting her shagging his brains out, that happened between 0900 and 0901 yesterday,' he added.