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Snap, crackle and pop with Radio 4 Extra Extra

The BBC has turned off its long wave radio service after 101 years. But ardent fans of the special sound quality of the long wave service need not worry. The BBC is launching a new service called Radio 4 Extra Extra (to distinguish it from Radio 4 and Radio 4 Extra).


The new service, referred to as BBC R4XX, is a digitally enhanced copy of standard Radio 4 output, with the trademark long wave snap, crackle and pop added back in electronically, along with unintelligible mumbling and some dropouts. The dropouts will mostly be old Radio 1 DJs.


Long Wave fans regard this solution as very unsatisfactory. One said, 'I'm cheesed off about buying a new radio. The valves in my radio have plenty of life left in them. I don't pay my licence fee for this sort of PC, woke, nanny-state nonsense.


'I was psychologically prepared to move to the medium wave, or possibly short wave. I have a massive allergy to FM transmissions, and will only buy an FM radio over my own dead body. As for DAB, that's not for me. And you can keep DAB+ as well. And I'm not sure that you can properly call internet radio 'broadcasting'.


'I'm petitioning the BBC to reissue old long wave broadcasts in a format that's accessible to true fans - wax cylinders, eight track, or, for the tech-savvy, Sinclair Microdrive.'



Image credit: deep dream generator

Popcorn shortages as nation sits back to watch Tories implode



Britain has an eerie, deserted feel as people increasingly stay home to scroll through social media for the latest catastrophe to befall the Conservative Party. Sales of popcorn are at an all-time high, leaving cinemas depleted of their favourite snack.


'I felt a bit ghoulish waiting for news of that submarine’, said one former Conservative voter, ‘but it's nothing compared to what's happening to the Tories. Maybe they’ll get lucky and it’ll be a sudden catastrophic death, eh?’


The bookies have stopped taking bets on the outcome of the next General Election but they’re doing a roaring trade predicting which catastrophic event will act as the coup de grace. Odds below:


Boris Johnson arrested – 1/10


Fraud Squad investigate PPE procurements; Minister claims money was just ‘resting in his account’ – Evens


Rishi Sunak has nervous breakdown live on air and shoves pencils up his nose – 3/2


Suella Braverman experiences ‘will of the British people’ and finds herself stranded in Rwanda – 2/1


It isn’t all bad news. The team which brought us The Crown has started work on The Clown, an account of the last few years at 10 Downing Street. ‘It has all the intrigue and drama of the Royal Family but none of the class’, a spokesman said. ‘We’re having a lot of fun casting people as Nadine, Jacob and of course Boris. Episode 7 – working title: Bunga-Bunga – will knock your socks off’.


Conservative Central HQ looked much the same as ever, apart from a 'Do Not Resuscitate' notice which has been pinned to the front door.


image from pixabay



First published 3 Jul 2023


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