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Librarian claims she was misled by Raynor Wynn over 'The Salt Path'

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More allegations have been made against Raynor Winn by a 38 year old Librarian. Not only was she conned into forking out £!0.99 for the paperback, and recommend it to her book club, but she also filed it on the 'non-fiction' shelf at her library.


"After reading the latest reports on-line and in the newspapers, I feel betrayed" she said. "If I had wanted waste my money on a pack of untruths I would have chosen a Jeffery Archer book, or Liz Truss's autobiography".


"The whole thing has made me go Dewey Decimal eyed. An apology, and explanation, are long overdue".



Palestine Action avoid ban by joining Epstein list

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The group’s spokesperson confirmed: ‘You can’t be a proscribed a terror group, if you don’t exist.’ Officials at the Home Office have been left scratching their heads about this legal loophole, said one: ‘Technically you’re not allowed to spray paint RAF aircraft, but I suppose you can if you’re Prince Andrew.’


Members of Palestine Action have been advised to change their names by deed poll to Bill Clinton and Bill Gates, thus making them immune to prosecution. The spokesperson said: ‘Even our controversial views about the Middle East are completely fine, if we just attribute the quotes to Tony Blair’. You might think calling our base of operations Paedo Island, would draw the attention of the police. But if anything, the police have helpfully burned all their documents and offered to turn a blind eye if we need Mossad to assassinate anyone.’


‘Of course the most effective way to avoid criminal prosecution is just to call ourselves Benjamin Netanyahu.’



Unite suspends 86 MPs

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After suspending Angela Raynor, the Unite union has decided to suspend the memberships of all 86 of the Labour MPs that it supports.


A spokesman said, ‘Angela started it all. The bin strike. The smell of rubbish. The smell of fear. The lack of support for our members. She was the first domino.


‘When we thought about it, we wondered what we were getting for the half a million quid we chipped in to support Labour MPs. That’s all hard-earned money from our members – we sent actual cash, not suits or dresses or posh specs - and we ARE expecting something back in return.


‘In business it’s all about efficiency, performance, customer service and other buzzwords. This government fails on all counts. It has made decisions, backed them to the hilt, talked them up, climbed back down, reversed decisions, and gone round in circles. Is that what spin doctors are for?


‘So we have decided to be business like. We’ve turned off the money tap until performance improves. And we’ll be having a quiet chat with Jeremy Corbyn...’



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