Asylum seekers across the UK are heading for Dover in a desperate bid to return home after the government started putting them up in Travelodge hotels.
Following all the recent bad press about the standard of service in the hotel chain, the Home secretary immediately went online and booked 6,000 rooms across the country to house the latest wave of migrants.
Abdul from Syria was forced into a Travelodge near Stevenage. 'It's an outrage,' he opined 'I awoke to find a half naked man in my room after reception staff gave him a copy of the key. My children have been traumatised by the hideous colours in the soft furnishings.'
Afghan refugee Mohammed who had been transferred to a Travelodge near Braintree said 'the facilities were not fit for animals let alone people. And I'm sure someone had pissed in my kettle.'
Local traders on the south coast are reported to be struggling to meet the demand for small boats, rubber rings, inflatable swans and cheap Chinese made snorkel and mask kits that the fleeing migrants are snapping up.
In a bid to help, President Macron of France has offered to sell their vast, newly redundant over stock of small rubber boats to the UK government for £640 million.
Image: https://unsplash.com/@leo_15
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