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Sunak gets support from Tory MPs by promising an all expenses paid trip to Africa




Sources have provided details of the promises made by the Conservative leader to MPs that backed his latest immigration bill. An all-inclusive break of indeterminable length has been assured for MPs who voted correctly.


The government has invested over £2 million in overseas facilities, which includes bespoke flights and secure accommodation in the scenic plains of the Savannah. The amenities have been previewed by one of the many Home Secretaries that Sunak has available to him.


This bonus is fully government funded and taxpayers will be happy to know that there may be further use of the holiday package in the near future, law permitting.


Bizarrely, any tory MPs who voted against the bill, will probably be on the same flight out.



Africa disguises itself as South America, to avoid Matt Hancock

Updated: Nov 22, 2021



The world's second-largest and second-most populous continent, has decided it is easier to adopt a fake Mexican accent and poncho covering 30 million km², rather than take advice from Matt Hancock. The prospect of having the shamed former minister as an UN envoy, has caused a continental drift of 8000 miles and has left a rather large gap below Spain.


Speaking from an undisclosed location, somewhere in the vicinity of coffee beans, Africa said: ‘Initially we thought we could just hide behind the curtains when he came knocking but a lot of women expressed alarm. After all we’ve got 1.3 billion people, so there is a very real risk that one lady might find him attractive. Law of big numbers says someone has self-esteem that low’.


Having changed postal address and worn a large fake moustache, Africa explained: ‘Ethiopia particularly has seen a lot of alarming pictures of death and disease over the years – and that’s just Matt Hancock’s time as Health Secretary’


image pixabay/mohamed_hassan




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