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Trump launches HickTok for most hopelessly dim supporters

Updated: Apr 4


"HickTok is the social media platform for the President's most fervent, pig ignorant supporters," said a spokes-chatbot for Trump Enterprises.


"These are the millions of American rubes, redneck and hayseeds who've pledged their votes to him for 2028, despite not knowing what year it is now or even what a vote is.


"Because these people - if you can call them that - are functionally illiterate and proud of it, HickTok will show them clips of Trump dad-dancing to YMCA, launching missiles at Iran and abusing the cringing leaders of satellite states."


"We lurrve him," said two newlywed cousins from Squawking, West Virginia, who have signed up to Hicktok.


"He's gonna buy us a pick-up truck and a new hunting rifle," they added, gullibly.


image by Grok

Hollywood to adopt American accent for baddies


For decades, a German accent was the hallmark of a Hollywood villain. More recently posh British has been the go-to elocution for criminal masterminds, with incompetently delivered ‘Middle Eastern’ accents for terrorists.


Now there’s a new accent in town. Dumb-as-shit American, slightly muffled through a mask.


‘In many ways they’re a throwback to Westerns’, a film expert told us. That’s a job, apparently. ‘The dark clothing, face partially concealed – what’s missing is a good guy in a white stetson’.


Indeed.


While Hollywood grapples with storylines where good and evil have the same accent, the real world is dealing with a bigger concern: are we about to see Schindler’s List 2?



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