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Hollywood to adopt American accent for baddies


For decades, a German accent was the hallmark of a Hollywood villain. More recently posh British has been the go-to elocution for criminal masterminds, with incompetently delivered ‘Middle Eastern’ accents for terrorists.


Now there’s a new accent in town. Dumb-as-shit American, slightly muffled through a mask.


‘In many ways they’re a throwback to Westerns’, a film expert told us. That’s a job, apparently. ‘The dark clothing, face partially concealed – what’s missing is a good guy in a white stetson’.


Indeed.


While Hollywood grapples with storylines where good and evil have the same accent, the real world is dealing with a bigger concern: are we about to see Schindler’s List 2?



Iran safe as Americans don't know where it is

Or how to pronounce it. In fact, given only 23% can find it on a map, chances are it will be Israel or Belguim that gets bombed.


Explained a four-star General: 'We know roughly where it is. It's near oil, their women dress like ghosts and they do the squiggly writing. It's definitely not Iraq, as we did those guys.'


US missiles will have an inbuilt sat nav and the Where's Wally Book of Fake Nukes. The major concern is that if they commit troops, then they will get buried in sand, along with their car keys. 'I have every confidence we will find it - it's next to Canada, right?'


image from pixabay



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