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Updated: Dec 11, 2021



It’s been another hugely successful Children In Need appeal with over £39 million raised for good causes. However, the charity’s mascot, Pudsey Bear, has taken time out from fund raising to berate the NHS over the amount of time he has been waiting for an eye operation. Pudsey received the injury in a champagne cork incident at a pre-launch drinks party 36 years ago. “My consultant advised me I might have to wait a year or two for surgery, but this is ridiculous.” he told us, “Last year at least held out the possibility of 20 20 vision, but Covid put pay to that.” Pudsey says he has tried to be charitable to the NHS but maybe now the time has come to go private. “The cost would be burdensome, but it’s one I’d bear.” image from pixabay







The world's leading backstabbing Tory and stray bottle of minge deodorant, Michael Gove, shattered all records at this year's televised charity extravaganza.


Boldly going where no Secretary for Levelling Up, Housing and Whatever has been before, he danced non-stop for 48 hours, raising almost a penny an hour. This is roughly the same amount that Mr Gove believes should be the UK's minimum hourly wage rate.


Mr Gove said he hoped the money would be put to good use, such as helping councils shut down foodbanks and padlocking children's playgrounds at weekends.


His former wife, Sarah Vine, commented that she was delighted for Michael, but it was pretty obvious why she'd decided to divorce the idiot.










The daily article is set to be a review of the BBC’s “What the Papers Say” piece. It will examine why the BBC has chosen particular articles from “the papers” for analysis and what that reveals about the BBC as an organization. It will feature in depth interviews with industry insiders, expert analysis, cutting edge investigative journalism as well as random soundbites from ill informed members of the public.


Other newspapers including The Independent, The Times (both Financial and Normal), and The Telegraph are set to follow suit. The Daily Mail has confirmed its version of the column has been delayed in favour of its recently announced “Big Tits Bonanza X-mas Special”.


For future updates on this and other hot issues why not subscribe to NewsBiscuit’s “What the Papers Say the BBC Says the Papers Say” daily newsletter.



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